Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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