shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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