I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
