I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
