I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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