fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
