I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
