with your own penis?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
