We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
