I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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