hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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