mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
babies were throwing up all over the place
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
