I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
