I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
