I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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