singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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