I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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