Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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