I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
