this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
