I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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