Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
