I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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