It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
