Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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