Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize