I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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