Can Purell be used as lube?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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