I wannas sexs uuuuu
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize