the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
