he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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