You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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