If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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