Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm at about main and main street
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
