when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
