i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
