How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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