OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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