One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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