You work out of a Hotel?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
