Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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