When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
