Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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