best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize