when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Randomize