Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
