Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I look better un-naked...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
