Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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