I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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