i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
