I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
