How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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