i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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