His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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