people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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