I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
