So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
