Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
