During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
