Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
