I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
