This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize