I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
