Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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