I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
