I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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