Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
